Are Norwegians so really deadly effective at work that they can afford to work the short hours and weeks they do? Or are they purely floated on oil so-to-speak? What can other countries and employers learn from Norwegian "arbeidskultur" ?
Well the pico blog says this: It is not so much a fact that Norwegians are so much more effective minute for minute in actually executing "value added activities" and " critical processes", it is just that they spend far less time on BS: blunt and simple, they do not jump through hoops-
Well let us first exclude offshore oil fields, and shipping. People work long boring hours, and then get a lot of time off. With net export of oil far larger than the USA, who guzzle their own "gas", Norway is in a complete situation exclusion on that front: blue-eyed arabs. However it does not need to go to say that the on shore industry would necessarily be so widespread here, despite the ethos of statoil : state-owned-oil. It is pretty effective in delivering solutions to this huge local market and holding on to those "valie added processes" when metal bashing finally floats away to low cost low low land.
So out in land based industry and services, they avoid the BS: they don't read general, long winded e-mails often and tend to skim read them when on a flight for example. They are often late out with all but absolutely critical information or even tenders for jobs. '
In just doing core activities you not only of course are perhaps overall more effective in terms of hours you can tackle in a week, but also the "noise" of corporate crap is filtered and your brain works more effectively in those minutes you actually use on the core!
The fact is though, that even here, the "value added activities" tend to attract workaholics, who rise to become divisional managers or start their own companies. I know the type quite well- usually they have a domesticated wife who keeps house, home and second job together while their man works 10-12 hour days and travels 100 days of the year. Also they travel business class and go to a good few seminars, and tend to take winter, easter, juletide holidays and a week here and there rather than the common holiday in july. See the pattern: the are what some call male chauvinsists, what otherwise you should maybe call the bread-winner who follows what is described as a "traditional roles " in the family.
Finally you have to come to another pair of cultural points: there are a lot of clever engineers who have grown up on a farm or with a dad who was a first engineer. Or been both themselves! Also they have a bit of a bloody minded way of looking at things, and egalitarian: why cant a junior engineer or I just fix this issue without a lot of meetings and permissions and approval for ideas?
So the real back bone of "norwegian effectiveness" in my opinion is that there are some conclusions 1) work is number two in life: work hard, but short hours. 2) ignore stuff you don't think is important and focus on only the real McCoy 3) be a smart alec and ignore the glass ceiling.
tirsdag 24. april 2012
lørdag 24. mars 2012
Cool or cold look warm countries
Seems i ride the back of cool and fall off it too. I was in glasgow in the late 80s when it was the cool under ground, indy reply to manchesters post punk poets
I lingered too long but inverness was happening for itself. The antichrist of aberdeen, a necropolis to faith, camraderie and goodwill for the most. Mountian biking was a saviour.
Then back to manchester when it became look cool. Then life took off to ireland when it was the coolest and hottest. It overcooked in a Corrs drenched euro sell out, my girl friend being the epitomy and breaking my heart.
Cheshire suddenly became cool and i ran a mile to the liquid nitrogen near zero kelvin coolness that was edinburgh in the late 90s.
Edinburgh had been cool for me personally for ever and a day. Deltics , the look, the pancake lace and spudulike. Haymarket depot. Hot little studenty sluts.
Then i laid routes downin oh so coola nd aloof and best in the world quilty of life, terra norvegicus. But it shows its greedy face polluting the wolrd for ski cabins and audi 2:4s.
Where is cool now? Well where it is beat. Instead of a war we have had a defeat for everyone. The rich lost a huge battle but regrouped to be able to counter attach and make poorland pay war reparations to a sub prime shit fight they werent even involved with.
Beat means finnaky there are places cheap enough to be beat.
onsdag 7. mars 2012
Us ...AS
Strategic Review
2011 saw a change in strategic direction to meet market conditions which have been prevailing and anticipated to continue. Following an earlier matrix analysis of core competancies versus opportunities, the company restructured around two main competance centres and revenue streams.
The matrix analysis reveraled that two divergent core competancies would secure adequate revenue streams in reshaping the strategic possibilities. The finance crisis has threatened to render activity tactical and therefore both higher risk and lower long term reward scenarios. However, the new strategy as mentioned plays to the market and maintains direction and development of the core business and creative skills required for the long term growth and enrichment of the firm.
The two focus areas are divergent : namely within purchasing, specifically oil field drilling equipemtn and education. Education took little adjustment to place resources into the public sector and excellent performance was rewarded with extended contracts utilising more than 80% of capacity. Moving into oil related markets required some major realignment however, with the route chosen being tactically through shipping supplies. Oil drilling is one of the few industrial markets showing double figure growth since the finance crisis and resulting recession began in Q3 2008.
Another key factor is the willingness to accept a far higher level of risk and to take advantage of subdued prices in capital assets. The company moved from renting large premises with high upkeep to leveraging their new income to buy new premises which are smaller and more economic. The additional cost of leasing premises in the new location for purchasing is expected to be offset by tax deductions and the proximity to a long term market centre.
Income growth was then projected as negative with a positive cash flow expected only by September. However the company was forced to meet market demands and relocate the major competance centre of purchasing to the customer and supplier centre some 120 km to the south. Growth is expected to be low with cautious estimates and a degree of dependency on reduced tax burden in order to generate enough gross margin for any profitability in 2011. The following two years however are anticipated to be a period of high growth in top line while projected costs can be contained within those of today. Cost pressures in the new location are expected but a longer term lease is to be secured mid Q2.
So to summarise in 2011 the firm was able to utilise its non material assets, namely intellectual property and hired-out services, to leverage into their own premises and enter a new, high growth market which is running counter recessionary in line with dollar-barrel price.
Through 2012 we will maintain financial stability and aim to grow income by 4%. In terms of profitability, Tax deductions are yet to be fully negotiated so we continue to issue our long standing profit warning while maintaining strict cost control and willingness to reduce expenses further in the event of unforseen circumstances. The small surplus from tax deduction pay out 2011 paid out in june 2012 however this is expected to be consumed by the loss of income during the summer period and holiday payments to employees at this point.
2013 is expected to be a major growth year with more lucrative contracts in both public and private sectors being sought before competitors are expected to be in a position to react. This is in part a willingness to accept higher risk to exploit opportunities than most competitors, but due to turbulent times an alternative strategy of slower growth and consolidaiton of current revenue streams with potential for cost reduction in 2012-13 is also in place. This would postpone higher risk movements and reloactions to 2014.
2011 saw a change in strategic direction to meet market conditions which have been prevailing and anticipated to continue. Following an earlier matrix analysis of core competancies versus opportunities, the company restructured around two main competance centres and revenue streams.
The matrix analysis reveraled that two divergent core competancies would secure adequate revenue streams in reshaping the strategic possibilities. The finance crisis has threatened to render activity tactical and therefore both higher risk and lower long term reward scenarios. However, the new strategy as mentioned plays to the market and maintains direction and development of the core business and creative skills required for the long term growth and enrichment of the firm.
The two focus areas are divergent : namely within purchasing, specifically oil field drilling equipemtn and education. Education took little adjustment to place resources into the public sector and excellent performance was rewarded with extended contracts utilising more than 80% of capacity. Moving into oil related markets required some major realignment however, with the route chosen being tactically through shipping supplies. Oil drilling is one of the few industrial markets showing double figure growth since the finance crisis and resulting recession began in Q3 2008.
Another key factor is the willingness to accept a far higher level of risk and to take advantage of subdued prices in capital assets. The company moved from renting large premises with high upkeep to leveraging their new income to buy new premises which are smaller and more economic. The additional cost of leasing premises in the new location for purchasing is expected to be offset by tax deductions and the proximity to a long term market centre.
Income growth was then projected as negative with a positive cash flow expected only by September. However the company was forced to meet market demands and relocate the major competance centre of purchasing to the customer and supplier centre some 120 km to the south. Growth is expected to be low with cautious estimates and a degree of dependency on reduced tax burden in order to generate enough gross margin for any profitability in 2011. The following two years however are anticipated to be a period of high growth in top line while projected costs can be contained within those of today. Cost pressures in the new location are expected but a longer term lease is to be secured mid Q2.
So to summarise in 2011 the firm was able to utilise its non material assets, namely intellectual property and hired-out services, to leverage into their own premises and enter a new, high growth market which is running counter recessionary in line with dollar-barrel price.
Through 2012 we will maintain financial stability and aim to grow income by 4%. In terms of profitability, Tax deductions are yet to be fully negotiated so we continue to issue our long standing profit warning while maintaining strict cost control and willingness to reduce expenses further in the event of unforseen circumstances. The small surplus from tax deduction pay out 2011 paid out in june 2012 however this is expected to be consumed by the loss of income during the summer period and holiday payments to employees at this point.
2013 is expected to be a major growth year with more lucrative contracts in both public and private sectors being sought before competitors are expected to be in a position to react. This is in part a willingness to accept higher risk to exploit opportunities than most competitors, but due to turbulent times an alternative strategy of slower growth and consolidaiton of current revenue streams with potential for cost reduction in 2012-13 is also in place. This would postpone higher risk movements and reloactions to 2014.
onsdag 2. november 2011
Sloth and outright Sharp Practices
I need to get this one out of my system!
This year sloth, rude service and outright sharp practice have gone way over the mark in Norway.
It started with my new phone: when the teleseller didn't manage to upsell me over the basic package ( tenner a month !) then he sounded a bit neutral. He then didn't bother to do the admin for my new phone and I had to wait two weeks of course while I hassled them and got good service !Nothing in writing, he could probably blame it on friday..blah blah
Later it was with our old bank when I wondered if I could get a 20% rise in visa card limit to pay for some repairs to the car. I wasn't very hopeful, but the guy was so rude and blunt about the whole case- worse than your worst nightmare about rude council or railways employees - that I did complain and I got a new case adviser allocated. I wasn't all that fussed about the credit limit, but the rudeness incensed me.
Latley then it has been a loan from the council to cover the deposit on the new house, which is a great action to get people to live here. However we now sit with a bloody bridging loan - on the whole sum at higher interest- because of sloth at the council and they then are not 100% sure they will grant it to us! In fact it is then the bank's problem, as they did not grant us 100% and presumed we would get the 20%. So there is a good 500 quid GBP either down the drain or darn hard to recoop.
The thing that annoys me is that this was of course, taken to the wire and my other half was then left sitting looking a bit naive in trusting all to go smoothly given they had 8 weeks admin time.
So many times before there have been small sharp practices: less discount, an extra included cost not stated until you are on the line to sign and pay. Let alone those arseholes in oslo who tried to take us for all our deposits!! Next time I will always want to see that " flaps, mats, tank and plates" are inclusive and in writing before I go forward in the deal, and make a point of not delegating so much over to my other half unfortunetly .
This year sloth, rude service and outright sharp practice have gone way over the mark in Norway.
It started with my new phone: when the teleseller didn't manage to upsell me over the basic package ( tenner a month !) then he sounded a bit neutral. He then didn't bother to do the admin for my new phone and I had to wait two weeks of course while I hassled them and got good service !Nothing in writing, he could probably blame it on friday..blah blah
Later it was with our old bank when I wondered if I could get a 20% rise in visa card limit to pay for some repairs to the car. I wasn't very hopeful, but the guy was so rude and blunt about the whole case- worse than your worst nightmare about rude council or railways employees - that I did complain and I got a new case adviser allocated. I wasn't all that fussed about the credit limit, but the rudeness incensed me.
Latley then it has been a loan from the council to cover the deposit on the new house, which is a great action to get people to live here. However we now sit with a bloody bridging loan - on the whole sum at higher interest- because of sloth at the council and they then are not 100% sure they will grant it to us! In fact it is then the bank's problem, as they did not grant us 100% and presumed we would get the 20%. So there is a good 500 quid GBP either down the drain or darn hard to recoop.
The thing that annoys me is that this was of course, taken to the wire and my other half was then left sitting looking a bit naive in trusting all to go smoothly given they had 8 weeks admin time.
So many times before there have been small sharp practices: less discount, an extra included cost not stated until you are on the line to sign and pay. Let alone those arseholes in oslo who tried to take us for all our deposits!! Next time I will always want to see that " flaps, mats, tank and plates" are inclusive and in writing before I go forward in the deal, and make a point of not delegating so much over to my other half unfortunetly .
fredag 12. august 2011
An ill wind which brings change.....Utøya and Oslo Tragedy
Everyone really agrees here that the bombing of the government quarter in Oslo and massacre on Utøya could only have been perpretrated because it was so unthinkable.
The heart shaped island became a trap as good as a cage in a distant forrest or a concentration camp in Nazi germany. This was beacause no one had really even conceived let a lone planned for such an attack.
The bombing in Oslo's own "whitehall" or "capitol hill" however was however outside this category 'unthinkable' - it appears the van packed with basic nitrate based explosives- the low tech', bulky, agriculturally derived favourite of the IRA in their time- had ten minutes parked illegally without raising suspicion or even a cursory inspection.That a police uniformed assailant walking out such a vehicle aroused no suspicion is maybe not so remarkable, even if it was driven through a no entry sign. The time span it went unchallenged there after, is very note worthy.
Hold on here though: How unthinkable is a terrorist attack which employs a lone gun man with several automatic weapons in a confined area with a concentrated amount of people? Or an attack on a school or college by a disgruntled pupil?
What is really unthinkable is that the attack was undertaken by a white, middle class, educated norwegian from the posher side of the Oslo conurbation. Dressed as a policeman he would have aroused no suspicion and that was all part of his cover. He knew he could get away with it. However he did raise suspicion of at least one passer by who saw him enter his second van and drive the wrong way up a one way street and he reported this and the van number to the police. 40 minutes later or so he was on the short ferry crossing to the island.
Our first reaction was probably unanimous with the rest of the country: middle eastern extremists had finally struck, biting the hand of the peace brokers in palastine. My thoughts also turned to the opposite: a mossad directed bombing under the cover of islamic terror to alienate Norway from the peace process and recognition og Palastine as a state with a democratically elected government.
TV2 the independent leader in national TV here, reported an ethnic norsk gunman and then actually unwittingly captured film of him actually still shooting as they flew over the scene. They arrived before the police and seemed to make no offer to allow police to commandere the helicopter: an oversight I hope plagues both pilot and journalists on board to their graves. They could have saved SOME lives, some injuries and lead to a perhaps the shooting of the gunman, which would have been a more satisfactory result on all sides than him living as some kind of imprisoned "bin laden" of the right.
Vital minutes were lost due to poorly informed local police whose"local knowledge" of boat availability at the nearest quays to the island lead to a fateful redirecting of the armed rapid response unit to a quay furter north. There they found few boats available and over burdoned an unsuitable craft to make a lone patrol, vulnerable assault on the island.
Meanwhile at the first quay on the lakeside, members of the public were using boats to rescue people swimming and coming under occaisional fire. The police came that far apparently and considered the prescence of a van and proxikity to gunfire too dangerous in an announcement before the latest information came through on plain ignorance.
What will happen now in the planning for response to such incidents? And amongst the population
Firstly people in general are going to be more sceptical about what right wing extremists are up to. They are going to look at who is in their gun club, who is a bit strange in their political ranks. Also who is blurring reality with the cyber game and social media world.
On the part of the police, there will have to be a review of airborne response, certainly in the Oslo- Akerhus area and for any otherwise lightly police large scale events and meetings on the entire national basis. Rappalering or fast-roping should be in the police repertoir with 5 minute scramble from bases with 20 minute radii in the Oslo-Akerhus area where over half the population lives. If this availability of 4 or five man teams and helicopters is lacking in the police then there should be an investment in this. Current helicopters can be utilised for some of these actions, plus availability of coast gaurd and military helicopters can be reviewed in order to provide operational radius to cover this area and major gathering of people further afield in the country. Commandeering of private helicopters and flight path perparation to return to pick up points for police helicopters in service should also be considered.
The police earlier this year announced their special forces based police reaction squad, filmed ironically enough, emerging out of water to secure an area in what looked like Oslo Fjord. So the will is there in the police to confront the danger with SAS style force and a military opinion on risk to personnel. The cold feet on the 22nd July was more a result of misinformation from leadership in the local police.
fredag 15. juli 2011
The Norwegian Social Highway Code
Having lived in the "best country in the world to live in" for the last seven years, the amateur and basically clumsy sociologist in me has been able to unravel much of the social code of how to get on as an immigrant. Just in time for me to consider throwing in the towel and leaving them to their own cabin-gloat, false modesty and small snob ways.
The FRP published a guide to getting on in Norway which included never going home to your own country. It didn't include things like, don't speak to the white nordman neighbours until they speak to you... The progress party are a weird bunch of neo thatcherites who are overtly anti immigration while having a substantial following from both Asian shopkeepers and Nordstrand racists.
So anyway, Siv Jensen's plan to deport me aside, what are my conclusions on the social codes here? The type of etiquette and conduct an immigrant should follow in order to well, fit in socially?
1) Consider yourself a guest here and not a true part of society.
This will help with your frustrations. Carry a positive attitude to being an outsider on a very prolonged visit, perhaps til death-do-us-part with the land. As a guest then, you should expect to be treated politely but not elbow your way in to social circles or god help us, a real career job. Let yourself be invited- a theme which runs through most of the soical codes
2) Use large amounts of false modesty.
Norwegians are absolute experts at this and also absolutely transparent in their falseness. They love putting forward a modest proposition or understating their capabilities such that the other party immediately flatters them on their actual abilities, or in say a job interview situation, infers that this understatement belies deep Jedi type ominpotent powers which will make you a brilliant candidate. Foriegners bomb out here in everything from job interviews, sports and past times to those travel-bore-stories yanks and Brits are so glad to force down your throat in their home countries or at holiday locations.
Saying "yes, I can do that very well and have many years experience" breaks both this rule and of course rule 1- be a polite guest and don't expect to be accepted on the same level terms here. A near literal translation of what you should have said " Hmm, no, but yes, maybe . I have had a bit to do with this, a few years perhaps this"
This false modesty stuff is really boring and is one reason Norwegians like to escape to their luxury cabins, ski appartments and 40 foot cruisers so they can actually gloat about how clever they are to earn heaps of money without working too hard. They have to put up with all this understatement posturing at work so they let out steam in being asshole materialist show offs in their many holiday opportunities.
In sports to give a further example : "yeah I can run a bit" , which would be a really smarmy and condescending reply from a former olympic 800m gold medalist who still trains regularily in the Uk or US. Saying it like-it-is, or maybe showing off a little, is just too much for Norwegians to stomach and this relates to the next law of social heirarchy:
3) Norwegians know best and are best
"best knowing norwegians" annoy even people in their own national ranks. Basically a much larger proportion of the population here behave like smart alecs who always correct you, or add something better they have done, or give a cynical put down to your claims. In your home land, these types are generally those no one buys drinks for or invites to parties, and generally they are considered a bad smell outside their own herd if they manage to gather critical mass, so to speak! Here this is typical behaviour.
Conversely though, all norwegians, like the French, the Yanks and the English hate when foreigners are better at something and look for opportunities to knock y ou off your pedestal. Remember you are in "guest limbo" for the rest of your life here if you emmigrated and you have to be a nice little camper in awe of the scenery and acheivements of the country.
Norwegians kind of have a point: they work the shortest working hours in europe for the highest pay. They have the longest holidays and they have probably the best work-life balance in the world. The encourage capitalism whjile the state is a major shareholder on the stock exchange. In a nutshell they have it very good, and make no mistake it was because they weren't stupid like we Scots- they taxed and owned oil companies in clever ways to reap the benefits of the massive reserves.
4) All Norwegians are equal: Just some are MORE Equal than others
Typically, in Oslo, this is represented in aspiring to drive a black Audi A4 estate. It is a safe bet, everyone has one. Put a sports pack badge on if you are cocky, but you are the same: they say A4 for "square" here actually.
This is also seen in sporting achievements on an amateur level where winning at something is seen as both a good effort while also a bit of luck in coming just in front of all the other competitors. Every dog has its day type thing.
Norway is now about as socialist as any democratic state in the world could possibly be, but this is not based much on the paternal, union and christian movements of the 19th and early 20th centuries as much as the basic mantra
"You are getting something I am not"
Once you understand this you will grasp that therein lies a dilema: both "keeping up with the jones's", the whole Black Audi A4 estate car thing AND the need to be seen to be modest, the false modesty.
Now of course Norway is like most democratic lands: the rich pay less than 25% tax on their income so they can sqaunder it and use it in the caribean and Swiss alps. Even there these rich twits like to show their common-ness by wearing grandad's shrunk wool snow flake jumper, or rennovating at old cow heards hut to original 15th century. They between themselves have some degree of the whole modesty shit, but are more into keeping up with the Goldbergs than the Jensens.
So as an immigrant you can expect to only aspire to being EQUAL, never achieving it and thoughts of becoming say a manager and being MORE EQUAL than others are dangerous indeed.
Another situation, while talking about bosses, is that there is a percieved need for a lot of consensus and apparent mutual decision by committee where as in reality those who are MORE EQUAL than others, ie managers and owners, pay lip service to all that and make the real decisions "fait acomplis" at the time they can take advantage of the actual lack of consensus over some actually useful actions.
4) Never criticise Norway or its Landsmen
Given all the preceeding rules, this would seem an ispo facto point. However it is worth putting it down in black and white because it offering criticism is a very quick way to find yourself being a little less guest status- the happy limbo you must endure - to being cheeky, unwanted immigrant.
However, it is a very good way to bond with other ex pats and people from more normal populations where the population are by in large more outgoing and less up their own asses.
5) Never invite - be invited
Well not never never ever, but to begin with. There is no point in having a house warming party and inviting your new neighbours. They will get to know you, perhaps enough to dislike you, but outside some of the more bohemian districts of Oslo, you will not get to know them and you won't get invited over their thresholds in return.
Most of all, never invite yourself! Hearing of a party or event or knowing they have a cabin or yacht you may like to have a tour to sets an alarm bell off! DO NOT INVITE YOURSELF. This is tantamount to saying " I see you have a really nice 16 year old daughter, and I wondered if I could break her in with a good hard shag" in our home lands. It is WAY over the line to invite yourself to anything.
Norwegians play a little coy ball on this too: because of their "equality " with other Nordmenn (look up jante's law) yet obvious superiority to all other nationals, they rub it in a little. " We are off to our cabin skiing this weekend" . " I am sailing for Jensen on his new XX 45 super carbon racing yacht ". They get a chance to show off and exclude you on this. They are less subtle when in their "MORE EQUAL" posturing with each other. In our countries mentioning things like this in normal, polite and well heeled company is a pre amble to an invitation. In the case it is neither family nor people you have known a long time, it is just cock-teasing and "significantly better off than thou' ". A chance for them to rub your crumby little immigrant nose into the lack of real material success you will continue to have the mispleasure of as a " wanderer-in" to the land.
Norwegians are a bit like this: if people are in their family then they have to talk to them, and if they have been freinds at school, uni or sports for many years earluer, then they will keep in touch. But a new neighbour falling outside these groups of social circles, will not get in for a very long time indeed.
Take our neighbours now: they are very ordinary, not snobbish really, and both of them are pretty left wing being in the public health sector. We get a long with them well now, but it took them a YEAR to say hello regularily and TWO years until we have a barbeque invitation. Then suddenly we were stamped " approved". I mean I thought they were really very rude for the first year. They were just sceptical and a little shy.
Actually as an immigrant you stand MORE chance of being inivited over within a short period than another norwegian! This is due to your guest status, so as soon as you break any of the other rules and indeed get the notion to make instant friends on the grounds of this neighgourly curiosity and national guest-welcoming behaviour, be prepared to be stung!
The basis for all this is that Norwegians are very private people really. Family is important and between christmans, weddings, births and confirmations they manage to squeeze in family cabin tours or "meets" at the drop of a hat. Men folk find this a little tiring sometimes, but it is safe and everyone accepts you for who you are. For immigrants marrying into a norsk family, expect this to be a major source of social life and a major source of frustration and boredom. You can only , after all, choose your friends but not your family.
I was very lucky when I moved here because I was accepted straight into a social circle of extrovert pals, who I had met many times actually on holiday. Then that all disintregrated with kids coming and pretentions of a career for me and moves for them.
Amongst Norwegians all this is a little bit more known: when they move to a place, they play a little hard to get: stand off a little to see who comes to them: they get the measure of people- are they worth haning out with? Do I have something to gain? They let curiosity get the better of others as a newly flytted neighbour.
Now, like many immigrants, I find it all just hell with the fact that you have to wait in some wierd dentists reception, looking at the fish tank in near silence for a couple of years before you finally start to get accepted and become "freinds". Here in the sticks, the problem is that once you are "in" with people you realise it wasn't worth the wait to get in there with them in the first place!
=====================================================
That is a very good point to stop this more sociological rant because that is the thing: Norwegians are by in large boring and stand off and you should spend time finding ones who are fun and stalk them carefully rather than trying to be particularily sociable.
I could add little faux pas, like mid week drinking or asking to crash out on a sofa, but I think this is the main core of the creation of all that discontent you will experience.
The FRP published a guide to getting on in Norway which included never going home to your own country. It didn't include things like, don't speak to the white nordman neighbours until they speak to you... The progress party are a weird bunch of neo thatcherites who are overtly anti immigration while having a substantial following from both Asian shopkeepers and Nordstrand racists.
So anyway, Siv Jensen's plan to deport me aside, what are my conclusions on the social codes here? The type of etiquette and conduct an immigrant should follow in order to well, fit in socially?
1) Consider yourself a guest here and not a true part of society.
This will help with your frustrations. Carry a positive attitude to being an outsider on a very prolonged visit, perhaps til death-do-us-part with the land. As a guest then, you should expect to be treated politely but not elbow your way in to social circles or god help us, a real career job. Let yourself be invited- a theme which runs through most of the soical codes
2) Use large amounts of false modesty.
Norwegians are absolute experts at this and also absolutely transparent in their falseness. They love putting forward a modest proposition or understating their capabilities such that the other party immediately flatters them on their actual abilities, or in say a job interview situation, infers that this understatement belies deep Jedi type ominpotent powers which will make you a brilliant candidate. Foriegners bomb out here in everything from job interviews, sports and past times to those travel-bore-stories yanks and Brits are so glad to force down your throat in their home countries or at holiday locations.
Saying "yes, I can do that very well and have many years experience" breaks both this rule and of course rule 1- be a polite guest and don't expect to be accepted on the same level terms here. A near literal translation of what you should have said " Hmm, no, but yes, maybe . I have had a bit to do with this, a few years perhaps this"
This false modesty stuff is really boring and is one reason Norwegians like to escape to their luxury cabins, ski appartments and 40 foot cruisers so they can actually gloat about how clever they are to earn heaps of money without working too hard. They have to put up with all this understatement posturing at work so they let out steam in being asshole materialist show offs in their many holiday opportunities.
In sports to give a further example : "yeah I can run a bit" , which would be a really smarmy and condescending reply from a former olympic 800m gold medalist who still trains regularily in the Uk or US. Saying it like-it-is, or maybe showing off a little, is just too much for Norwegians to stomach and this relates to the next law of social heirarchy:
3) Norwegians know best and are best
"best knowing norwegians" annoy even people in their own national ranks. Basically a much larger proportion of the population here behave like smart alecs who always correct you, or add something better they have done, or give a cynical put down to your claims. In your home land, these types are generally those no one buys drinks for or invites to parties, and generally they are considered a bad smell outside their own herd if they manage to gather critical mass, so to speak! Here this is typical behaviour.
Conversely though, all norwegians, like the French, the Yanks and the English hate when foreigners are better at something and look for opportunities to knock y ou off your pedestal. Remember you are in "guest limbo" for the rest of your life here if you emmigrated and you have to be a nice little camper in awe of the scenery and acheivements of the country.
Norwegians kind of have a point: they work the shortest working hours in europe for the highest pay. They have the longest holidays and they have probably the best work-life balance in the world. The encourage capitalism whjile the state is a major shareholder on the stock exchange. In a nutshell they have it very good, and make no mistake it was because they weren't stupid like we Scots- they taxed and owned oil companies in clever ways to reap the benefits of the massive reserves.
4) All Norwegians are equal: Just some are MORE Equal than others
Typically, in Oslo, this is represented in aspiring to drive a black Audi A4 estate. It is a safe bet, everyone has one. Put a sports pack badge on if you are cocky, but you are the same: they say A4 for "square" here actually.
This is also seen in sporting achievements on an amateur level where winning at something is seen as both a good effort while also a bit of luck in coming just in front of all the other competitors. Every dog has its day type thing.
Norway is now about as socialist as any democratic state in the world could possibly be, but this is not based much on the paternal, union and christian movements of the 19th and early 20th centuries as much as the basic mantra
"You are getting something I am not"
Once you understand this you will grasp that therein lies a dilema: both "keeping up with the jones's", the whole Black Audi A4 estate car thing AND the need to be seen to be modest, the false modesty.
Now of course Norway is like most democratic lands: the rich pay less than 25% tax on their income so they can sqaunder it and use it in the caribean and Swiss alps. Even there these rich twits like to show their common-ness by wearing grandad's shrunk wool snow flake jumper, or rennovating at old cow heards hut to original 15th century. They between themselves have some degree of the whole modesty shit, but are more into keeping up with the Goldbergs than the Jensens.
So as an immigrant you can expect to only aspire to being EQUAL, never achieving it and thoughts of becoming say a manager and being MORE EQUAL than others are dangerous indeed.
Another situation, while talking about bosses, is that there is a percieved need for a lot of consensus and apparent mutual decision by committee where as in reality those who are MORE EQUAL than others, ie managers and owners, pay lip service to all that and make the real decisions "fait acomplis" at the time they can take advantage of the actual lack of consensus over some actually useful actions.
4) Never criticise Norway or its Landsmen
Given all the preceeding rules, this would seem an ispo facto point. However it is worth putting it down in black and white because it offering criticism is a very quick way to find yourself being a little less guest status- the happy limbo you must endure - to being cheeky, unwanted immigrant.
However, it is a very good way to bond with other ex pats and people from more normal populations where the population are by in large more outgoing and less up their own asses.
5) Never invite - be invited
Well not never never ever, but to begin with. There is no point in having a house warming party and inviting your new neighbours. They will get to know you, perhaps enough to dislike you, but outside some of the more bohemian districts of Oslo, you will not get to know them and you won't get invited over their thresholds in return.
Most of all, never invite yourself! Hearing of a party or event or knowing they have a cabin or yacht you may like to have a tour to sets an alarm bell off! DO NOT INVITE YOURSELF. This is tantamount to saying " I see you have a really nice 16 year old daughter, and I wondered if I could break her in with a good hard shag" in our home lands. It is WAY over the line to invite yourself to anything.
Norwegians play a little coy ball on this too: because of their "equality " with other Nordmenn (look up jante's law) yet obvious superiority to all other nationals, they rub it in a little. " We are off to our cabin skiing this weekend" . " I am sailing for Jensen on his new XX 45 super carbon racing yacht ". They get a chance to show off and exclude you on this. They are less subtle when in their "MORE EQUAL" posturing with each other. In our countries mentioning things like this in normal, polite and well heeled company is a pre amble to an invitation. In the case it is neither family nor people you have known a long time, it is just cock-teasing and "significantly better off than thou' ". A chance for them to rub your crumby little immigrant nose into the lack of real material success you will continue to have the mispleasure of as a " wanderer-in" to the land.
Norwegians are a bit like this: if people are in their family then they have to talk to them, and if they have been freinds at school, uni or sports for many years earluer, then they will keep in touch. But a new neighbour falling outside these groups of social circles, will not get in for a very long time indeed.
Take our neighbours now: they are very ordinary, not snobbish really, and both of them are pretty left wing being in the public health sector. We get a long with them well now, but it took them a YEAR to say hello regularily and TWO years until we have a barbeque invitation. Then suddenly we were stamped " approved". I mean I thought they were really very rude for the first year. They were just sceptical and a little shy.
Actually as an immigrant you stand MORE chance of being inivited over within a short period than another norwegian! This is due to your guest status, so as soon as you break any of the other rules and indeed get the notion to make instant friends on the grounds of this neighgourly curiosity and national guest-welcoming behaviour, be prepared to be stung!
The basis for all this is that Norwegians are very private people really. Family is important and between christmans, weddings, births and confirmations they manage to squeeze in family cabin tours or "meets" at the drop of a hat. Men folk find this a little tiring sometimes, but it is safe and everyone accepts you for who you are. For immigrants marrying into a norsk family, expect this to be a major source of social life and a major source of frustration and boredom. You can only , after all, choose your friends but not your family.
I was very lucky when I moved here because I was accepted straight into a social circle of extrovert pals, who I had met many times actually on holiday. Then that all disintregrated with kids coming and pretentions of a career for me and moves for them.
Amongst Norwegians all this is a little bit more known: when they move to a place, they play a little hard to get: stand off a little to see who comes to them: they get the measure of people- are they worth haning out with? Do I have something to gain? They let curiosity get the better of others as a newly flytted neighbour.
Now, like many immigrants, I find it all just hell with the fact that you have to wait in some wierd dentists reception, looking at the fish tank in near silence for a couple of years before you finally start to get accepted and become "freinds". Here in the sticks, the problem is that once you are "in" with people you realise it wasn't worth the wait to get in there with them in the first place!
=====================================================
That is a very good point to stop this more sociological rant because that is the thing: Norwegians are by in large boring and stand off and you should spend time finding ones who are fun and stalk them carefully rather than trying to be particularily sociable.
I could add little faux pas, like mid week drinking or asking to crash out on a sofa, but I think this is the main core of the creation of all that discontent you will experience.
tirsdag 1. februar 2011
The Norwegian Bad Samaritans
Unemployment amongst Immigrants
I am faced with yet another amazing statistic.
First, during the last "uptime" in the economy, and therefore before the "speed bump" credit crunch here in Norway, there were 5000 unfilled positions in that uninspiring part of Norway, Østfold. Not known for more than agriculture, tourism and service industries. Yet there were 4000 unemployed of immigrant background registered "seeking work" at the national labour service NAV. Bunch of layabouts?
I blogged before, in Aust Agder while reading the local rag, unempolyment was up by 9% but amongst those with immigrant background, it was up three times that level.
Now on a recent tour to the town which boasts Agder Blad, Arendal, I buy the local smudgey snail-read and low and behold: unemployment amongst those with immigrant background is standing at 30%!
This included a given example of a young engineering graduate with 50 applications, who had a mixed norsk-islamabikakjan name, yet not even an interview.
The same was true for a nice pakistani girl I met in Oslo, who was getting CV help from my uncle-in-law. She was secondary school educated ( high school graduate) and wanted no more than a career in retail, starting at the bottom. She had lived all her 18 years in Norway. Yet she got no interviews.
When I talk to people in the public sector, or often family, there is fervent denial of "small racism". It seems the socialist middle classes, and also those in the oil industry who are used to multinational employees, are somewhat caught up in a false self-image of the lovely, liberal, peace-prize weilding norwegian : the good samaritan.
There is of course the well documented lack of worth ethic amongst Somalians, and norway has about 20 000 of them. However, in the North Sea, employers now run courses for managers dealing with the lack of work ethic for the 14-on, 12 hour days amongst the latest engineering graduates from the best universities in Norway. How they should be coaxed and normalised into the way it is. Pakistanis and the "Boat People" from vietnam have been amongst the hardest working first generation and now the second generation, espeically female according to one of my sources, are those who are driving the big management consultancies with hard work, sacrifice and innovation. The BI/NHH "boy's club" is no longer up for 14 hour days to get the job in the bag and done from all angles it would seem.
Is it really just the fact that out in the real world, away from universities and Quangos ( and even in some of them) that Norway is still a land of people who shy away from the new? Conservative with a small "c" to the point they daren't employ immigrants?
I have been offered enough temporary work to make me a bit sick of it, and work which "could lead somewhere" to just kind of start to give up a bit on pushing my career forward. However, this is not just a Norsk phenomenon: immigrants always have it tough, if they don't land with a case of dollar bills. They always have to try harder, both first, second and third generation, to get anywhere.
The trick is to utilise a social tool which is trite and superficial and false for people who come from anywhere but the rural bitty sticks of english speaking countries: that is to employ copious amounts of false modesty at interviews, and in general actually. This is one part of one key to getting accepted here- you play yourself down, you make yourself modest like the norsk, but maybe even a little bit more so. You swallow your own pride, sorry puke, in this false modesty. Like the answer to how's it going ? "Bare bare" ...only good.
I am faced with yet another amazing statistic.
First, during the last "uptime" in the economy, and therefore before the "speed bump" credit crunch here in Norway, there were 5000 unfilled positions in that uninspiring part of Norway, Østfold. Not known for more than agriculture, tourism and service industries. Yet there were 4000 unemployed of immigrant background registered "seeking work" at the national labour service NAV. Bunch of layabouts?
I blogged before, in Aust Agder while reading the local rag, unempolyment was up by 9% but amongst those with immigrant background, it was up three times that level.
Now on a recent tour to the town which boasts Agder Blad, Arendal, I buy the local smudgey snail-read and low and behold: unemployment amongst those with immigrant background is standing at 30%!
This included a given example of a young engineering graduate with 50 applications, who had a mixed norsk-islamabikakjan name, yet not even an interview.
The same was true for a nice pakistani girl I met in Oslo, who was getting CV help from my uncle-in-law. She was secondary school educated ( high school graduate) and wanted no more than a career in retail, starting at the bottom. She had lived all her 18 years in Norway. Yet she got no interviews.
When I talk to people in the public sector, or often family, there is fervent denial of "small racism". It seems the socialist middle classes, and also those in the oil industry who are used to multinational employees, are somewhat caught up in a false self-image of the lovely, liberal, peace-prize weilding norwegian : the good samaritan.
There is of course the well documented lack of worth ethic amongst Somalians, and norway has about 20 000 of them. However, in the North Sea, employers now run courses for managers dealing with the lack of work ethic for the 14-on, 12 hour days amongst the latest engineering graduates from the best universities in Norway. How they should be coaxed and normalised into the way it is. Pakistanis and the "Boat People" from vietnam have been amongst the hardest working first generation and now the second generation, espeically female according to one of my sources, are those who are driving the big management consultancies with hard work, sacrifice and innovation. The BI/NHH "boy's club" is no longer up for 14 hour days to get the job in the bag and done from all angles it would seem.
Is it really just the fact that out in the real world, away from universities and Quangos ( and even in some of them) that Norway is still a land of people who shy away from the new? Conservative with a small "c" to the point they daren't employ immigrants?
I have been offered enough temporary work to make me a bit sick of it, and work which "could lead somewhere" to just kind of start to give up a bit on pushing my career forward. However, this is not just a Norsk phenomenon: immigrants always have it tough, if they don't land with a case of dollar bills. They always have to try harder, both first, second and third generation, to get anywhere.
The trick is to utilise a social tool which is trite and superficial and false for people who come from anywhere but the rural bitty sticks of english speaking countries: that is to employ copious amounts of false modesty at interviews, and in general actually. This is one part of one key to getting accepted here- you play yourself down, you make yourself modest like the norsk, but maybe even a little bit more so. You swallow your own pride, sorry puke, in this false modesty. Like the answer to how's it going ? "Bare bare" ...only good.
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