tirsdag 8. desember 2009

Eye Candy


You knnow it is a very strange thing that you don't really notice how important a nice-bit-of-ass in the office is until you don't have anything to look at all day, all week, all month at work.

I think I miss the titilation and the "maybe she would" - the basis of many a female sales persons career. Depending on the audience- with GPs ( doctors) it is best to have them not TOO pretty, just a bit middle of the road, a little busty, thin to plump with that hint of slutt which a middle aged man interprets wildly at a subconscious level.

In our little biochemical or perhaps also soul worlds of the unconscious mind I am sure that there are sexual entanglements when the vibes are positive.

I have a foriegn version of good old anita murphy at my side here. Too many years of too much make up, she is on the shelf now dvrcd and right on the very brink of becoming past her sell by date. She knows it. But her career, like muffies, has come first, although her progress has been less than meteoric in relation to the long hours she puts in.

Anyway, she sure ain't eye candy. A dull analyst. The girls nextdoor work in telesales and one or two are of the "hmm, three pinter" variety, but nothing gord' like linda and her bumpy bits in the kra-office.

I've always had some crumpet really! Even in my first ever job! Even in the last yab in oslo the owamw thing with the boobs and ass were good, and the slutty old sales boss too boot. Plus the shop girls upstairs- two or three absolute stunners.

The "might happens" of course do happen, but you have to open your mind to it and feel the pheramones. Age is not a real barrier, either way. Poor old astrid would have got a proper rogering or lizzie, with her HRT and big tits and what a bum for a 50 year old! Or whazzername in hyde, owamwooooo!"

I just like having a semi for part of the day. Kind of tantric sex with the cousin type relationships we have in the work place.

Here in norway the eye candy one might employ as a boss can be oh-sooo much better than any UK or USA boss could get away with ( unless they were a female and therfore probably a lesbie or a honey pot hunter) I mean having a couple of bird who are model status and one who is a prawn star figure would not be anythign to batt an eyelid to in a company of over 10 people. Under that it would be a major fukup though- too claustrophobic for all sides. But the same ratio could apply and be inversely proportional - a bigger company may have 50% of staff female and 75% of them as well tasty or "might put out a bit" types. I've seen these companies! Why employ dogs?

yeah. no need here or in the recession bound western lands. A pretty barmaid, waitress, receptionist or what ever sets a bit of a sexy tone of arousal and thereafter the theme should continue on every office floor. A smattering of lovelies. Keep us boys liking the work place, because like I say, you only REALLY notice it when there ain't any and then it sucks.

Well we have some new staff coming but I don't see this changing in nerdland.

søndag 1. november 2009

You Know You Have Been in Norway too Long when....

Well you certainly know you have been in Norway too long when any of the following top 10 happen to you!

You can read more of the same and link up wiht many (mostly east europeans?) at www.immino.no

  1. When on tours abroad, after a couple of days you find yourself yearning for a brown, plastic like sickly, caramelised sandwich filler made from burnt milk...(dvs brunost)
  2. While on sandwiches, in fact a UK sandwich with a top and bottom, seems absolutely ludicrous over use of bread. Open sandwiches are no longer difficult to pack and eat with the ingenious employment of small bits of paper...
  3. Where-ever you are in the the world, on friday evenings around 5pm and saturdays around the same time you begin to twitch unconsciously in the anticipation of 'last chance to buy wine or beer' respectively..
  4. You no longer feel guilty about not speaking to the neighbours.
  5. ; 1 - 4 only blokes....When travelling abroad you start ogelling and drooling over decent sets of (natural) boobs
  6. .......whilst you wonder why girls have such dreadful legs and bums outside scandinavia
  7. You completely forget the expression " want to grab a quick beer?" with colleagues.
  8. You get jealous of people's ownership and their flippant, infrequent use of small shacks out in the midge-ridden woods.
  9. Once establishing a friendship you are no longer surprised at being offered their entire material assets for your disposal.
  10. ....whilst you see no point in trying to take 99% realtionships with colleagues beyond the work place

fredag 16. januar 2009

the lastest rant on jobs

Well well, here I am doing what I have never really done before ...

working in a temp job at the shitty end of the stick.
With this telephoni-time monitoring system I see how much time I actually wasted at work before. I remember at KMP that I used to work like a nigger and actually get through the day by 5ppm usually - just by focusing and not being arsed to socialise ( although I could have quite happily stuck the bayonet in either janet or alison on reception)

Now instead of wasting time on surfing, chatting, blogging and so on, I waste time on ring outs, dead people, and busy arseholse in one-man bands. So they waste my time and through their own money down the drain on a numbers driven telesales office. I'm going to go over to 4 days a week.

How on earth do managers in call senters and telesales actually justify treating people just as stats when they at the same time have to keep a positive and motivating atmosphere? Call centres saved the scots economy- but if all that money had been spent getting graduates to start their own businesses (and mostly fail to the fruits of them and the fittest who survive) then the economy could be even more knowledge based and dynamic. Now, like here, it is a house of cards based on the credit and home market booms of the last 20 years- has that come to an end and Scotland has to actually work 'clever' for a change?

Recessions are good because they clear out the dead wood- companies which just didn't have enough energy and quality to survive- companies and employees who just didn't bother to develop. People who turn up and take their money for a shitty delivery with a snarl in return end up in public service somehow- a disgrace that the lazy shit heads can leech off our taxes but that's how it goes- get a job wi the cooncil-

I think this pretty much brings it all full circle here- back to the old people-pushing sales managers. Latest wheeze, as in employees are always wrong and to be pushed first, is that we don't send e-mails out. They get more up time and we push away more business into can't be bnothered. Really we should close on some SPIN risk selling but what the hell.

Soon home to a life I had not ever quite imagined at 40!